Hello my little monsters,
If you should ever decide to become a parent, you’ll be faced with a never-ending list of choices for how to raise your children. What school should they go to? How do you discipline them when they’re not listening to you? And of course, what do you tell them about mythological creatures who supposedly enter your home in the middle of the night to leave them candy or other goods? The latter is a question we’ve been dealing with a lot lately.
A few weeks ago, Arlo, you discovered one of your teeth was loose. You spent a good deal of time wiggling it back and forth and questioning all of the older kids in the neighborhood about how many teeth they’d lost. At one point you asked about the tooth fairy.
“What happens when I lose my tooth?” you asked.
“That’s a great question. I imagine the tooth fairy comes in while you’re sleeping and leaves you some amount of money while trying not to wake you up,” I responded, looking to your Mom for feedback on my description.
A few days later it was St. Patty’s Day, and Arlo, you decided to see if the neighbors were home to play. You’d only been gone a few minutes when you burst back through the front door.
“Aren’t they home?” I asked.
“They are, but a leprechaun snuck into their house and left Quinn a flute and some candy! I need to look around!”
“No leprechaun came by our house, sorry buddy.”
“How do you know? Quinn said it was hidden. I have to search the house!”
Somehow I was able to convince you rather quickly that a search of our home wouldn’t turn up anything other than some misplaced toys, so you returned to your playdate.
A few weeks later some people knocked on the door dressed in their finest church clothes and said, “We wanted to invite you to the memorial this Sunday.” Before I had a chance to ask who it was for, a young boy handed me a flyer and his mother, reading my clueless expression, added, “It’s for Jesus Christ.”
When I closed the door you both asked, “What was that about.”
I responded, “Remember when we said some people believe in God? Well, some people believe he had a son, and Easter is a celebration for him.” I knowingly left out the part about him being crucified and then rising from the dead because I would frankly have no clue how to answer your legitimate questions about this event.
“Oh,” you both shrugged, and then you ran away to continue building a fort.
The night before Easter Arlo asked, “Does a bunny really drop off our Easter baskets, or is it just a guy in a bunny costume?”
“It’s a bunny,” I answered, but my mind immediately became focussed on how creepy it would be if it were a man in a suit. Your Mom and I both agreed we wouldn’t do anything to keep up this charade. If you ask the truth, it’s yours.
For Easter, we had most of the family over, and Elliott, for the first time you became obsessed with chocolate in the form of Kit-Kats. You uncharacteristically ate a lot of sweets and then completely crashed, but just like the man for whom the holiday is for, you rose again and found your second wind just before bedtime.
During the festivities, Arlo, you lost your first tooth or rather had it expertly torn out by Andy. At bedtime, there was a quick panic that the tooth fairy wouldn’t find your white tooth on your white sheets, so I grabbed a pen and a pad of paper. In my mind, I would write, “Here’s the tooth,” with an arrow, and leave both on your bedside table, but you had another idea.
“Oh good, we’re going to leave a note? Okay,” You said. “Write…”
What do you do with the tooths? Do you dress them up like little dolls? My name is Arlo, I am 5 years old. This is my first tooth that I lost. Happy Easter. What is your name Tooth Fairy? Did you have a good Easter? How old are you Tooth Fairy? I’ll see you when my other tooth falls out. Bye Tooth Fairy.
P.S.- I play dollhouse and dress up with Elliott. Do you have kids? How old are they?”
I had no clue how to respond to why a Tooth Fairy collects teeth, but luckily your Mom told me to Google it. We stuck with the age-old, yet disgusting tale that the Tooth Fairy collects teeth to give to babies, who need them to eat food… Shockingly, for a little man with a thousand questions, you had your Mom read you the Tooth Fairies’ response, and that was it. You told people you got a dollar and a note, but asked no further questions about the 137-year-old Tooth Fairy with two helpful kids who left you some cash in exchange for a tooth she planned to recycle.
Life is filled with mysteries, some more exciting and interesting than others, but none more entertaining than parenthood.
I love you both so much.